Ey, boss i not come work today I really sick. I got headache,
   stomach  ache my legs hurt I not come work.

   The boss says:

   You know carlos I really need you today. When I feel like this
   I go to my wife and tell her to give a blowjob.
   That makes me feel better and I can go to work.
   You should try that.

   2 hours later carlos calls:

   Boss, I did what you said and I feel great, I'll be at work
   soon.

   And by the way, you got a nice house.