VACATION TERM TRANSLATION
 

In case any of you are still thinking about picking a 
vacation spot, be aware of the following advertising lingo...
 

Old world charm .......... No bath
 
Tropical ................. Rainy
 
Majestic setting ......... A long way from town
 
Options galore ........... Nothing is included in the itinerary
 
Secluded hideaway ........ Impossible to find or get to
 
Pre-registered rooms ..... Already occupied
 
Explore on your own ...... Pay for it yourself
 
No extra fees ............ No extras
 
Nominal fee .............. Outrageous charge
 
Standard.................. Sub-standard
 
Deluxe ................... Standard
 
Superior ................. One free shower cap
 
All the amenities ........ Two free shower caps
 
Plush .................... Top and bottom sheets
 
Gentle breezes ........... Occasional Gale-force winds
 
Light and airy............ No air conditioning
 
Picturesque .............. Theme park nearby
 
Open bar ................. Free ice cubes