A hesitant driver, waiting for a traffic jam to clear, came
to a complete stop on the freeway ramp.

The traffic thinned, but the driver still waited.

Finally a furious voice from the vehicle behind him cried,
"The sign says 'Yield', not "give up!"

=========================================================

Three aspiring golfers were taking lessons from a pro. The first
guy hit the ball far to the right.  "That was due to LOFT," said
the pro.

The second man hit his ball far to the left.  "That, too, was due
to LOFT," said the pro again.

The third golfer took a swing, and the ball just went a few feet
and stopped. "Once again, it's LOFT," the pro claimed.

"Well, what exactly do you mean by LOFT?" asked the third golfer.

"Lack of fine talent," replied the pro.

--------------------------------------------------------

Q: If you get malaria from mosquitoes and lime disease from
ticks, what do you get AIDS from?
A: Asshoppers.