Marijuana has been proven to have a multitude of medicinal uses.  And
it's not just bunch of potheads wanting to smoke pot either!  2% of
them  would reap actual medical benefits!!!  Here's Dr. Pothead's
recommended dosages:

Sympton/Illness  - Treatment

Glaucoma  - 1/4 ounce per week, use as needed

Asthma - two large bong hits per attack

Minor burns - 1 joint every 4-6 hours

Insomnia - bowl at bedtime and as soon as you wake up

Depression - three large bong hits, 5-8 times per day

Hangnail - 1/2 ounce per week as long as symptoms persist

Feel kinda funny - pot brownies after each meal

My balls itch - antifungal cream applied to balls, and
2 - 3 joints per day

Jonesin' for some pot - 1 full ounce every 4 days, refill
as needed

Waay tooo stoned man - Smoke as much as needed until you
feel 'normal' again

Can't cope with shit - Stay in bed and smoke plenty of pot until
better

Getting bored with Quake - One large bong hit everytime you save
game

Paranoia - Smoke as much pot as humanly possible (while you still
can)